i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
