If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
