just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
