cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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