Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
