Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
