also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
