im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
