you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
