worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize