so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
