you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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