I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
