taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
