I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
