my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
