Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
