Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
