I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
