listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
