so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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