I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
