help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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