GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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