Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
