Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize