Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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