who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
