Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
