Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
