I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
