I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize