have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
