Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
