I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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