Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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