You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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