quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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