D3 body, D1 cock
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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