Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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