Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
