yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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