what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
