whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
