He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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