it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
