my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
