Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
