Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize