dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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