Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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