honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize