I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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