I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
