A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
