She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
