You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
false alarm, still single
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