It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
