I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
