I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
