If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
