Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
