Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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