They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
