I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
